Discontinued?!

 I have recently found the perfect pair of jeans.  It is a high-waist, barely boot cut.  Let me tell you why it is perfect.  Remember the post on “My body, My rectangle” (if not Read Post Here), well I could rewrite this post pandemic to read “My body, my rectangle with a bulge in place of a waist”.  So the beauty of the high-waist jeans is the bulge around my middle is hidden inside the higher waist of these jeans!  The barely boot make the leg appear longer and slimmer, especially when paired with same color shoes.  This is not my opinion, it came from the experts on TLC’s What Not To Wear, so it must be true.  Having struck gold at Talbots, the perennial older woman shop, I quickly purchased 3 pairs, black, blue and white.  Oh the JOY!  After 40 years the perfect jeans!  I know the price is a little steep but I will probably have these jeans for a decade; I calculate that's about $10 per year per pair - cheap!  Guess what? I can only find black jeans in the high-waist category on-line today!  Oh the HUMMANITY! 

Susceptible to Infomercials?

Does age make you susceptible to infomercials?  I have always considered myself immune, but lately…we ordered window cleaning crystals (I will let you know if they work.)  As I write the word “crystals” I already feel confident I have been HAD!  Just this morning we were oohing and aahing over Gotham Steel Pots.  I mean they can go in the dishwasher, you can use metal spatulas on them and they stack!  So the reasons I think age makes you susceptible are these: 1) The cache of name brand, expensive stuff has worn off.  For example, I am over the limitations of my Caphalon pots and pans like hand washing and the need to use plastic or wooden spatulas. 2) As discussed previously home maintenance has become painful and tedious.  Hence the window cleaning crystals, I mean they say you don’t have to remove the screens.  It will clean the screen and the window in one fell swoop.  We had to try it.  Are you considering more products “as seen on TV”?

My Flowers are Conspiring Against Me

I am sort of a gardener.  What I mean is a lot of square footage in my yard is devoted to flowers.  In recent years I have been trying to convince my husband we should dig up some of these and either give them away or replant elsewhere and turn some of the gardens back into grass that he mows.  Maybe some of the flowers overheard this because this year they are blooming one at a time.  So what I am experiencing is a lot of green with very little color.

This gardening thing was something I was very excited about when I moved in to my first home.  In addition I loved interior design make-overs and had even pictured myself throwing dinner parties; this was basically my version of the American Dream.  It has soured.  I can count the number of dinner parties we have hosted on one hand (family holidays don’t count in this dream land), the flowers have lost their allure and per several previous posts home improvement is painful. 

My new middle aged American Dream is to move to a townhouse with a homeowners association that will mow the postage stamp of lawn out front and maybe a patio out back with one or two pots that I water full of flowers.  In this dream I am retired and spend several months a year hiking at various places around the country. 

Arm Tights?!?!!!

Arm Tights? Did you know this was a thing?  I have been completely unaware!  I have noticed my formerly toned upper arms were becoming decidedly saggy.  I chalk up this pudginess, if I am honest, to my depressing weight gain.  I did try to wear spanks (OK I can’t afford spanks, but some off brand Walmart knock off) to work under a pair of slacks one day.  After my hour long commute I stumbled out of the car and into the bathroom to rip them off.  I think they bruised some internal organs!  Not sure what these arm spanks would do but NO, never doing that again.  I am dutifully wearing a cardigan over my sleeveless things and try to steer away from sleeveless altogether like a good middle aged woman!  Also, I have every intention of hitting the unused universal machine in my basement soon.

Obscene Product Placement

I am obsessed with a new product!  It is called Dove Exfoliating Body Polish, I am calling it my new slathering sauce.  Yes, like my other product reviews 1) It is readily available. I bought mine at Walmart. 2) It is inexpensive. I paid about $6.  This stuff is amazing.  Do you ever put your arm around your child and think how soft their skin is?  Well this stuff makes yours softer.  I won’t promise the fountain of youth, but it is pretty nice.  I bought the pomegranate, but the smell is mild and not sure I really notice it.  It is a very fine grained scrub with more grains than others I have tried.  I did have to wash it off with soap afterwards as the product directions recommend.  Try it and let me know if you like it!

Bikini Lines, Face Masks and Middle Age

What could these things possibly have in common?  Well as face masks become more prevalent I have been wondering will my rapidly increasing number of chin hairs go the way of my bikini line?  So when I was a young, nubile twenty something living in California personal grooming was at the top of my list.  But as I become a mom and most of my sunbathing time was spent running around after little kids, then hauling water skis and knee boards in and out of the boat my swim suit needs changed. See No Kids versus Kids images!  As you might imagine my bikini line grooming changed with it!  So I was wondering as I wear a mask more and more, see In the Car image and In a Store image, might my chin hairs succumb to the same laziness?  Let’s hope NOT! 

Secret Get Out of Town Free Trip

So we were going crazy cooped up in the house with our adult children so we left.  Don’t tell anyone but we googled what was open and found The Great Smoky Mountains could accommodate us. So we got in the RV and rolled out of the neighborhood at dawn…

They, The Great Smoky Mountains, are amazing!  Good thing I had started the walking per my last post because we did some real hiking.  One trek took us on the Appalachian Trail.  We stopped and turned around at one of the overnight shelters and out-door toilets – not for the faint of heart.  My dream of hiking the entire run of this trail will require significant resources to either have a chase car with facilities or easy hiking from one bed and breakfast to the next with large swaths of the trail missed due to lack of plumbing.

Our last hike took us to the highest peak in Tennessee, Mount Conte and Myrtle Point.  The view was just like you see on the website with the mist among the peaks.  Note of warning the trail sign said it was 5 miles, it was more like 8 according to our fit bits! 

Not only is the road through the park worth the drive (in case the hiking is a turn off) but the wild life was abundant.  We saw wild turkey, bear, deer, and bunnies.  So next time you are cooped up with your family remember camping is solitary and somewhere in America you can probably do it.